Monday, 26 May 2008

call of nature

I mentioned in a previous entry about there being more to life than watching and waiting for my beans to sprout, well they have and for a split second I was very satisfied with my life and my beans, if only life was as simple as watching your beans grow!

Another project which has been evolving over the last year or so is the creation of a pond in my parents garden, my Mother decided she would really like to have an oasis for wildlife etc, this came as a result of them purchasing some land at the bottom of an already large garden and then wondering what to do with it. Several ideas were floated, get a goat, a donkey, some sheep, put some bee hives on the land. Eventually the idea of a pond was settled upon, despite the protestations of my Father who could only see a hole in the ground which would take more than water to fill. We had a pretty large hole dug according to my design, the design process involved me directing a bemused local man with digger, scratching of chins, cups of tea etc etc, I like to think of the process as being an organic one! We ended up with a relatively large hole in the ground, this wasn't going to be some half hearted ornamental affair, this was going to the wildlife oasis my Mother had wished for!

Leap forward to present time, the pond has taken shape, fish have appeared from nowhere, water has risen then fallen then risen and is falling again due to lack of rainfall and all the local wildlife using it as a watering hole. Plants have been planted and take shape momentarily, I say momentarily because as soon as any plant gets established and healthy buds appear and are on the cusp of blooming the bloody deer take the opportunity to munch their way through every bud and tender leaf. Steps have been taken with some degree of success, the chosen method being the use of stocking filled with human hair put on stakes around the plants, the deer get a whiff and stay away. However the scent of the hair does wear off and the second it does the deer return to fill their boots. I got a call from my Mother the other day to inform me of the latest developement on the deer versus them front. My Father woke one morning at dawn to answer the call of nature whilst doing so he looked out of the bathroom window only to spy a herd of deer in the garden making their way towards the pond, not a care in the world other than my parents cat, Kitty, attempting to stalk them. Not to be defeated my Father dressed in nothing but his pants races into the garden waving his arms like a mad man trying to herd them out of the garden. Meanwhile my Mother wakes from her slumber and wonders where the old man is and meets him coming back in behaving like he's really lost the plot, once she realises what the commotion is she gets some clothes on, fearful of being spotted by the neighbours and joins him in madness chasing the herd down the field waving a tea towel at them, that'll show em! So it's no more touchy feely approach to keep the deer away, I think every electronic device is to be invested in for the sake of the plants, sod the rest of the wildlife!

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